9 Important Life Lessons I’ve Learned from My Italian Wife

So you want to live la dolce vita?

They say the Italians have mastered the art of living well. That elusive concept, la dolce vita (the sweet life) seems to flow so effortlessly through their cobbled stone streets and sun-drenched piazzas. But for many of us in the U.S., it feels like a distant dream, or a vacation fantasy rather than a daily reality.

Here’s a secret: la dolce vita isn’t just about sipping espresso in a charming cafe in the south of Italy, or clinking the glass of a perfect spritz for aperitivo in Milan (although, that’s definitely part of it!). It’s a philosophy, a way of approaching life that prioritizes joy, connection and savoring the simple pleasures. And guess who’s been my personal guide to this Italian way of life? My amazing wife and the amore of my dreams, Allie.

Living with Allie has been a crash course in la dolce vita, and let me tell you, it’s been quite the eye-opening experience and a bit of a culture shock in the most positive way. Here are 9 little lessons I’ve learned from my Italian wife that I’m bringing to you stateside:

Food is love…

In Italy, a meal isn’t just sustenance, it’s an occasion. Allie’s family gathers around the table for hours, sharing stories, laughter, and of course, delicious food. It’s a reminder to slow down, appreciate the company and savor every bite. In our house, we make a conscious effort to have regular family dinners, focusing on quality ingredients and conversation over quick meals on the go.

…and a salad is not dinner.

Neither is a sandwich or, the worst offender, a bowl of cereal. As someone California-raised who used to work in the tech industry and believed she never had time for food, it was an adjustment when Allie told me that my $18 Sweetgreen salad was in fact not a dinner. Going back to the concept that food is love and an occasion, Italians insist that a proper meal (aka a hot dinner) is a necessity at the end of the day. I still get my salads for lunch, but now I get to savor my dinners like never before.

Wine is good (and not for getting drunk.)

As a matter of fact, ample wine is good. However, drinking in excess is majorly frowned upon, especially in public (see brutta figura below!). For the Italians, wine is meant to be enjoyed mainly with food, and always in good company. It’s another mentality and a completely different relationship with wine that they have.

Walking isn’t so much about the destination, but the ritual.

La passeggiata (the walk) is a daily ritual in Italy. People stroll through the streets, catching up with neighbors, soaking up the sun and enjoying the fresh air, especially after a meal. We’ve incorporated this into our routine as much as possible. It’s a great way to unwind, connect and get some exercise.

Pasta doesn’t make you fat.

Overeating does. Unlike Americans, Italians are definitely not carb-phobic. From fresh bread, to pasta and pizza, they aren’t afraid of carbs and don’t stay away from gluten– they just don’t eat huge portions and eat at a slower pace. As a result, obesity is very rare.

Drinks should be served in real cups.

And food belongs on real plates. The American concept of “to-go” just doesn’t translate in Italy, aside from maybe a slice of pizza. This goes back to eating and drinking being occasions in Italy, to be treated with more respect than a little paper cup. Therefore, no cappuccino to go! –and speaking of cappuccino, get your fill before 11am or be prepared to be silently judged (according to the Italians, milk consumed after a meal and during the afternoon can make you feel uncomfortable and inhibit digestion!)

Don’t make a brutta figura.

The Italian philosophy of la bella figura, literally translating to “a beautiful figure,” is a difficult one to translate, but overall it means two things: 1, the importance of making a good impression; and 2, that life is better when you look better. Choose quality over quantity when it comes to clothing– take good care of what you buy, and wear it often. Flip-flops are for the beach, and wearing them in the city is a brutta figura, “a bad figure.” Showing up to someone’s house empty handed? also brutta figura! Get it?

Make time for beauty.

Italians also have a knack for finding beauty in the everyday. Allie always takes a moment to appreciate a striking sunset, a perfectly ripe tomato from the farmer’s market, or the architectural details of a building. It’s a practice I’m adopting– taking a few minutes each day to appreciate the little things that make life beautiful.

There’s balance between passion and productivity.

Italians are hardworking, but they also know the importance of taking breaks and pursuing their passions. It’s a balanced way of life that feels foreign to so many used to the American hustle culture. Allie always makes time for things that bring her joy, whether it’s cooking up a new recipe, doing a crossword outside in the sun, or taking an impromptu Disneyland day. Now I’m learning to prioritize my own passions outside of work, which ultimately leads to a more fulfilling life.

These are just a few of the ways my Italian wife has enriched my life. La dolce vita isn’t about location, it’s about a mindset. By incorporating these simple lessons, we can all bring a touch of Italian sweetness into our own lives, no matter where we call home.