How to Reconnect with Your Partner

Get that feeling of falling in love back.

It’s no secret that long-term relationships are hard. Once the initial lust inevitably fades, it can become very easy to begin taking your other half for granted. After you’ve spent a lot of time with their… interesting habits (is it really that hard to put the dirty laundry actually inside the hamper rather than right in front of it!?) it can be a challenge to get back into that honeymoon mood.

Listen, we get it. The good news is, we’ve got some advice to help you get out of a relationship rut because we’ve done it ourselves! So here’s how to reconnect with your partner and freshen up your relationship when things start to get a little mundane:

1. Put down that phone and love the way you used to.
   We’ll start with a no-brainer that fires shots at a bad habit most of us are guilty of– being a little too glued to our phones. The siren songs of your feed and FYP are undoubtedly hard to resist, so just put your phone on Do Not Disturb and leave it at the bottom of your bag (not on the table!) next time you have a night out with your partner. You won’t have that compulsive urge to “just check something” on your phone and will leave space for meaningful, uninterrupted conversation.
   
   
2. Share a daily hug, or 6.
   Our bodies need touch for physical connection. It’s just human nature! So uhh, when was the last time you gave your partner a long hug? Not a quick “bye have a good day at work” hug, but a real, intentional long one where you relax into one another’s arms? Most likely, it’s been a while. So give this a try: stand fully balanced (there shouldn’t be one pulling the other to them) so that you can ease your energy into each other, then embrace. Do it once for a full minute or opt for 6 or so hugs for 10 seconds each throughout the day.
   
   
3. Say thank you with more than just words.
   Have you ever heard of the “four horsemen” of the relationship apocalypse? If you haven’t, check this article out by The Gottman Institute. It’s very insightful! Criticism is one of the “four horsemen,” and it’s very common for those in long-term relationships to find themselves focusing on the negative things about their partner. To avoid going down that road, try sending spontaneous, sweet little messages to your partner on a regular basis. Whether it be via text or a post-it note on the fridge, the point is to point out the positive and increase that feeling of connection and appreciation.
   
   
4. Hold hands.
   Believe it or not, hand-holding can become stale, too. There’s that thoughtless routine hand-hold, and then there’s the subtle, intentional hand-hold. The latter is like a quick squeeze as you walk together or when you cross paths, or holding hands on the couch while you’re watching TV with a little caress. It’s a simple gesture, but a powerful, non-verbal way to let your partner know you’re there and paying attention to them in an era when a lot of us have a phone stuck to one of our hands, using the other to do everything else.
   
   
5. Recreate your first date.
   Take a trip down memory lane and recreate your first date. We know it sounds cheesy, okay? But you and your partner are so used to each other’s presence that all those cute sweet nothings you used to whisper to each other have turned into complaints (at each other or about your day), so just give it a try. Reconnecting to the past and reminding yourselves what you liked in the first place and what brought you so much happiness can trigger positive memories and resurface those warm fuzzy feelings.
   
   
6. Read a book together.
   Remember when you used to stay up all night talking about everything and nothing? If the conversation has become sort of business-like, it’s probably a good idea to turn to a good book. Reading together in bed might sound like just a bedtime story for kids, but it could actually tap into shared interests, spark new engaging conversations, and revive your appreciation for each other’s intellectual sides.
   
   
7. Cross off something from your joint bucketlist.
   If you haven’t made a couple’s bucketlist, now is the time to do it. It’s a great at-home date activity that we recommend all the time! If you already have one, then it’s time to take a look at it. It may be more of an investment, but start planning a trip, book a class to take together, or go on a new adventure. Whatever you choose to cross off your list, a fresh, memorable experience is always a powerful way to bring you closer back together.